America needs to chill out

pret11People are complaining left and right. Tom Daschle and taxes this. Stimulus package and wasteful spending that. Everyone needs to calm down.

Why are people freaking out? I don’t really get  it. I know what President Obama should do! Now that the stimulus bill has passed both the House and the Senate he should go to Wall Street in New York and hang a “Mission Accomplished” sign in the background as he delievers a speech claiming victory over money. That would do a lot to assuage America’s anxieties.

Or maybe he should just avoid the topic all together by changing subjects. We’ve already took care of Al-Qaeda, the taliban, Saddam Hussein (and his buddy Chemical Ali) So we should focus our attention on a new enemy: peanuts. We all know what they are up to. President Obama should take all the cluster bombs and cruise missiles he can find and just blow the crap out of peanuts. George Washington Carver would roll over in his grave if he knew what peanuts now-a-days were up to.

Perhaps President Obama could announce he actually is a Muslim and institute an Islamic revolution circa 1979 Iran. People wouldn’t care as much about the economy. They would be too warm from wearing headscarves and full length beards to care.

Or, if he really feels daring, he could appoint a cabinet member who actually pays their taxes.

But, President Obama will never do any of those things. (Except maybe the last one.) He is facing America’s problems head on. It’s not pretty but that’s because we’ve dug ourselves into a pretty deep whole. I understand why Americans are feeling anxious. We are dealing with a whole lot of problems, but the key word is dealing. We could ignore these problems and we’d probably feel a lot better about these things, but that’s not why Barack Obama won the election. America elected him to help us get out of this mess. We just need to let him do his job.


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