I am willing to become Mr. Nadya Suleman

pret15You’ve all probably heard about Nadya Suleman by now. But just to recap for those who might not be familar…

Suleman likes kids. A lot. She liked them so much that she had six of them. And then decided to use invitrofertilization to have eight more.

As it stands now, Nadya Suleman has fourteen kids but no husband. That’s where I come in.

Nadya Suleman is good looking. I want a good looking wife. Nadya Suleman’s mother wants her to get married. Come on, folks. You do the math. It works. I should marry Nadya Suleman.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re a college student. She would have to be nuts to marry you! Lucky for me, Nadya Suleman might be crazy. According to actress and Nadya Suleman look-a-like Angelina Jolie, Nadya Suleman “creeps her out.” Suleman reportedly has tried to contact the actress over a dozen times and has altered her appearance to look more like Jolie. Perfect.

My future wife is on the left. Some actress is on the right.

My future wife is on the left. Some actress is on the right.

And I know what you’re thinking next. Wouldn’t I have to be crazy to marry her? I mean, let’s cut to the chase here, having fourteen kids probably has caused some irreversible damage to certain parts. I’m willing to admit that might be a problem. But I believe the benefits of the relationship will grossly outweight the negatives. First off, with fourteen kids I’m sure we’d be eligible for some crazy government welfare. I might not have to work. Ever. Second, I probably wouldn’t have to do much work around the house. I mean, they’re not my kids. Let the sperm donor change their diapers. As any step-child out there knows, stepparents never love their new children. Finally, I would get a kick out of being a celebrity. Can you imagine the headlines? Crazy mother of fourteen marries college kid. That would get eaten up. I am ninety five percent sure I could parlay that into a Lifetime movie.

So Nadya Suleman, the ball is in your court. I am proposing. Will you turn my life into some sort of circus sideshow/Lifetime movie? Will you marry me?


1 Response to “I am willing to become Mr. Nadya Suleman”

  1. 1 tracivega March 8, 2009 at 5:08 am

    That was priceless. lol. I think she might take you seriously and stalk you lol

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