No word yet on the specific effect jungle juice has on one’s cancer risk

6921_55286626028Today is a sad day for college students everywhere. In addition to many colleges being in the midst of midterms (not mine, but some are) UK cancer researches have uncovered some harrowing news regarding alcohol and its effects.

For years, college students (and middle aged WASPy women with nothing better to do than watch soaps during the day) have argued that their heavy drinking was good for them because alcohol can be “heart healthy.” A study released by Cancer Research UK has gone and really screwed things up for everyone.

In recent years there had been the belief that drinking a glass of wine with dinner everyday reduced one’s risk of heart disease. Well, it turns out that drinking one alcoholic beverage a day can significantly increase your chance of developing cancer.

The study shows that cancer can develop in anywhere from the breast, throat, liver, or rectum.

So, college kids, next time you’re out there partying and having a gay old time, think of rectal cancer.

Sobering. Isn’t it?

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