My Life as Jim Halpert: Day 1

The ground rules have been established. I picked out my outfit. (Light blue collar shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, a navy tie, with khakis.) I awoke this morning ready to become Jim Halpert.

I knew how I hoped people would react. When I told one friend my plan she immediately said that her reaction would be to, “Throw herself at me.” (I think she meant this as a euphemism, not in a literal sense.) Obviously, I was hoping everyone would react in this way.

That was not really the case.

My first class of the day did not begin until eleven, so I had the entire morning to spend it the way I imagined Jim would. I deduced that if Jim had free time, he would spend it trying to set up some sort of elaborate prank. So, I spent the entire morning attempting to make Jell-0 in hopes that I could put one of my classmates writing utensils in it. This did not work out well. Jell-o is extremely hard to make. It took much longer than I anticipated. For the sake of time, I quickly ran to the store and bought a six pack of Jell-o and figured I could always bring one to class and shove a pen in it or something. Obviously, Day 1 of Jim Halpert week was not off to a rousing start.

However, I began to find my groove as the day progressed. I walked into my first class and hung my backpack over the strap of the desk chair the same way Jim does. I took off my jacket and placed it on the back of the chair. “Look at you,” one of my friends in the class called out. “All dressed up. Valentine’s Day was yesterday.” I immediately threw on my best Jim face and said, “Are you sure? I could have sworn it was today.” Vintage Jim. A cute strawberry blonde girl to my right responded, “I think he looks nice.” Bingo. I got my Pam.

As class progressed I chose not to participate in the discussion as much as usual. Jim Halpert is known the world over for his slacking. I picked my spots to contribute. I often looked for ironic or witty angles to take. For instance, when discussing the modern day Iranian government I referred to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as the assistant-to-the Ayatollah. However, as the lecture wore on I grew disappointed that it did not look as though I would find a Dwight or a Michael during this class.

At the end of class I began to collect my things and met up with “Pam” to walk to my next class with. We began talking and the conversation was genial. I even threw in a pretty good Jim-ism. (She was talking about how much easier life would be if she were less anxious. I said, “Les Anxious? I think I went to high school with that guy.”) Unfortunately, (or perhaps fortunately) I got a heavy dose of Jim Halpert’s life when “Pam” then turned the conversation to how neglectful her boyfriend was on Valentine’s Day last night. I got Roy’d.

Whatever negative reaction my conversation with “Pam” might have had on me were quickly removed during my next class. I found “Dwight” in the most unlikely of places. Most of the students in my American Revolution class are seniors. One of them is a senior citizen. He is an older gentleman who, for reasons unknown, decided to enroll in college at the tender age of 80. From a cold, unfeeling standpoint, this strikes me as a terrible investment. From a warm, sentimental standpoint I think this is cute. However, this is Jim Halpert week. I must put Peter’s feelings about this gentleman aside. Regardless of how I feel about him, I realize he is Jim’s Dwight.

He takes the class uber-seriously.  He tries extremely hard to impress the authority figure. He is extremely irritating. It’s just Dwight all over. At one point in the lecture the professor delivered a PowerPoint presentation. He clicked to a slide of a political cartoon regarding the American colonists’ views of the Intolerable Acts. It had a picture of British people force feeding Americans. “Dwight” immediately chimed in. “I guess this is one cartoon which the phrase ‘cramming it down their throats’ really applies.'” He then proceeded to laugh at his own joke. I choose not to make any snide remarks towards “Dwight.” I felt this was the right thing to do both as Peter and Jim. As much as Jim loves to torment Dwight, I do not think he would act that way if Dwight were sixty years older than him.

So, I was left with a dilemma. There I was, with a 6 pack of Jell-o in my backpack and no nemesis’ supplies to put in it. I hung around the back of the room, hoping to be the last one out. As the other students were leaving, I loafed around, biding my time. As I was walking out the door, I coolly opened a Jell-o cup, grabbed a dry erase marker from the board and placed it in the Jell-o. I put the cup in the middle of the desk and walked out.

Not a bad first day.


4 Responses to “My Life as Jim Halpert: Day 1”

  1. 1 Gisele February 16, 2010 at 12:04 pm

    This is a very fun read. Can’t wait to see what happens the rest of the week, though I bet Jim would say “It’s okay to just be Peter.” 🙂

  2. 2 maeve May 5, 2010 at 7:40 am

    ryan hindes=michael scott and i have felt this way all my life

    assure me that i am right

  3. 3 Caitlyn November 27, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    I agree with Gisele. Jim is an awesome character with great qualities and morals to live by, but you don’t have to be a total clone! Just be yourself (:

  1. 1 privacy tent Trackback on September 12, 2018 at 4:58 pm

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