My Life as Jim Halpert: Day 2

Day 1 got off to a rousing start. I awoke this morning hoping for an equally successful day. I picked out my Jim clothes. This time I chose a white button up shirt with a navy tie and dark pants. I looked similar to the picture to the left, except much shorter and far less handsome and dapper.

The morning and subsequent classes were relatively uneventful. I suppose this is a good thing. After all, I would assume Jim Halpert’s life is normally pretty uneventful. He lives in Scranton, Pennsylvania. He sells paper. He doesn’t seem to have many friends. He used to have a roommate who seemed like a pretty cool guy, but then he got engaged and moved in with Pam. Since then, I would imagine he rarely sees his guy friends anymore. Pam undoubtedly has some issues from her unhealthy, long term relationship with Roy. Although it’s never mentioned in the show, Roy probably cheated on her. No guy has ever been that much of an ass to a girl and still remained faithful. It’s safe to say Pam left that relationship with a jaded view of men. This probably causes her to look at her relationship with Jim through the lens of the past. She probably searches to make sure Jim doesn’t mistreat her the same way Roy did. This means no guy time for Jim. He can’t enjoy any guys’ night out because Roy enjoyed guys’ night out too much. This means life probably sucked for Jim.

Then again, he also got to marry Pam and do her as much as he wanted. That’s a pretty good trade. I like playing poker and watching sports with friends, but I would love to do Pam.

Lecture classes left me little opportunity to outwardly display my Jim Halpertness. Many people convinced my outfit for some sort of frat requirement. However, I was lucky enough to run into my “Pam” after classes in the afternoon. In vintage Pam & Jim pre-season 4 fashion, we were discussing first dates.

The discussion turned from real first dates to ideal first dates. She offered her version, something sweet and sappy. The details were unremarkable. Then came my turn to offer mine. I paused to channel my inner Jim.

“Well,” I started. “I would probably take the girl to a Bulls’ game. I know, I know. Just let me finish. I would spring for courtside tickets or skybox or something like that. It would be something nice so she would be able to appreciate it even if she wasn’t a Bulls fan. I would, of course, buy popcorn and coke, because, let’s face it, what kind of girl doesn’t go ga-ga for popcorn and coke? Then, at half time I would sneak away for a second and get a hold of the person who operates the jumbotron and ask for a favor. During a timeout in the third quarter, I would ask that on the jumbotron a message appears. It would read: Whatever-her-name-is, will you marry me? Love, Peter.

“Her reaction to that would decide if our relationship would move beyond the first date or not. If she laughs and thinks it was awesome, she’s a keeper. If she doesn’t get it, she’s not for me.”

She laughed. “That would be hilarious. I would die laughing.”

I flashed my Jim Halpert smile. “I thought you might.”

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1 Response to “My Life as Jim Halpert: Day 2”


  1. 1 rissy May 14, 2010 at 2:23 am

    I think, as a women, that this is incredibly sexy.
    Go after your Pam.


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