My Life as Jim Halpert: Day 4

Today, I found myself with a chunk of extra time in the middle of the day. So, I decided to watch the Olympics.

Before the Olympics, I was lukewarm on the whole ordeal. Winter sports are generally boring. Cross country skiing is beyond boring. Speed skating is frightening. The “half pipe” sounds like something a pothead would use to get high. That said, the whole thing is actually pretty cool. Nationalism, in general, leads to some pretty interesting things.

During my mid-afternoon break, the United States was taking on Denmark in curling. I realized one thing: I really like curling. Jim Halpert agrees.

There are numerous episodes in which we learn that Jim loves basketball. However, I believe that curling might be Jim Halpert’s second favorite sport.

First off, it’s the type of game Roy and others like him would hate. It is the brunt of jokes. How many people have Twitter updates or Facebook status like:

Curling? LOL looks like my mom sweeping the kitchen. lmao.

or

Curlings not a sport. did u hear bulls traded ty?

Jim would love to talk about a sport like that. However, there is on caveat. Jim, like me, would not play curling. (Do you play curling? Or do you just curl? Anyone?) Dwight would be the curler. He would undoubtedly talk about Mose and him creating a make shift whatever-you-call-a-curling-field on their farm and playing for hours. Jim would counter with something like, “You know, Dwight, I curl from time-to-time.”

Dwight would scoff. “Really?” He’d ask. “I bet you play like a girl.” He would say with narrowed eyes.

“I don’t know,” Jim would lean back in his chair. “My team’s pretty good.”

“What’s your record?” Dwight would demand.

“18-0.”

“Impossible,” Dwight would say while throwing a binder onto his desk.

Dwight would inevitably challenge Jim to a curling match. Jim would accept and suggest the match take place at some exotic, hard to get to location. The episode would end and after the credits roll, we would see Dwight waiting with Mose in some darkened, weird place.

Or something like that.

You can’t really be embarrassed when curling. There is no way a curler can get massacred. (Unless the other guy uses, like, a machete.) Jim would like that comfort. Moreover, neither Jim nor I, understand the rules. Perhaps that’s why we like it so much. When you understand a sport, you think while watching. You tell at coaches for making dumb mistakes. Players for missing the obvious. Refs for blowing calls. For curling, I have no idea what the hell they’re doing, so I am not going to question them. If they sweep the rock to the green line instead of the blue, who am I to argue?

It’s easy to watch curling. It doesn’t ask anything of us. That’s vintage Jim Halpert. Easy isn’t always a bad thing. After all, Jim has lived a great deal of his life by doing what’s easy and his life is apparently good enough that I am spending a week trying to emulate him.

Sometimes easy is awesome. After all, that’s why we took this job at Dunder-Mifflin, and that turned out okay for us.

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