My Life as Jim Halpert: The Long Overdue Conclusion

I promised daily postings about my week as Jim Halpert. I started off strong, delivering four adequate posts Monday-Thursday. Then, I sorta fell apart. Life got in the way. Or, to be more specific, one of the greatest movies I have ever seen, got in the way.

I am, of course, speaking about Shutter Island. Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, the movie debuted last Friday and I caught a 10:20 showing. Wow. I can’t really talk about the plot or why I found it so interesting without giving away details. But, man, that’s a movie.

When the movie let out around one, I was in no mood to write about my day. After having watched a movie of that quality, I could not bring myself to write. Scorcese just showed me how to move people emotionally with art. Pretzel Day is a first grader’s coloring book in comparison to Martin’s Mona Lisa.

Alas, enough time has passed so I now feel comfortable writing again.

My week as Jim Halpert has come and gone. And, for better or worse, my life has remained the same.

I started the week with stars in my head. I imagine women would scream and swoon. Guys would be like, “Yo, that guy’s pretty cool.” Professors would tell me that I did not have to come class for the rest of the semester and I would receive all A’s. The lottery people would forgo tonight’s drawing and simply hand over the money to me.

None of that happened.

People laughed when I made jokes, but that typically happens anyways. I got a pair of As on some papers, but that, too, happens even if I’m not wearing a shirt and tie and making funny faces. All this leads me to believe something I suppose I knew all along.

Jim Halpert’s life is mostly unremarkable.

I say mostly unremarkable instead of entirely, because there is one aspect of his life which I do believe would be worth imitating. His wife, Pam.

Almost all the greatest moments of that show center around Jim and Pam doing something cute/romantic/whatever together. The greatest moments of seasons 1-3 involve them just missing. They speak to each other in subtext and longing glances. The best of seasons 4-6 are the moments in which they are happy spending time together. Whether they’re pulling pranks on Dwight or taking part in the most adorable wedding episode of any tv show ever, the joy and happiness the two of them get from one another is palpable. That’s what looks so awesome. That’s what makes me want to imitate Jim Halpert. That’s what I was trying to find this week. Ultimately, that’s why I was left disappointed at the end. Yeah, I envy Jim’s creative hijinks and witty humor, but I envy his happiness more. That’s what I learned this week. That’s what this experiment taught me.

Describing love as the end-all be-all of human existence is cliche, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true.

That sort of perfect Pam-Jim love is what made me want to be Jim instead of John Krasinski. Krasinski has the money and fame, but Halpert as something much, much more important. He’s got love. And as John Lennon and/or Paul McCartney once said, that’s really all we need.