G’day! (I know, terribly cliche. I’m not happy I wrote that either.) My name is Peter. Any friend of Jay’s is a friend of mine. I’ve seen Crocodile Dundee, like, seven times. Furthermore, I’ve seen Crocodile Dundee 2 about five times. Crocodile Dundee 3, I only saw once. It wasn’t very good. I’m sorry. Please don’t tell Paul Hogan. On the other hand, I’m a huge fan of Colin Hay. Love it. Also, Scrubs which Jay says is huge over there.
We are not so different, American and Australia. We both begin with the letter A. We both were started by the Brits. We both have universal healthcare. (Almost) In conclusion, I hope you guys like Jay. But back to the topic at hand.
Epic is a very useful word. It can be substituted for awesome. It is used to describe something massive in magnitude or scope. It can really come in quite handy. I can call Homer’s The Odyssey as an epic tale. I could describe the Pyramids in Egypt as epic structures. Unfortunately, I can’t do that anymore. Bearded high school kids and douchey hipsters have hijacked the vernacular. Instead of being used to describe awesome things, it is now almost exclusively proceeded by “fail.” Often times the word is capitalized. (ie FAIL) Even more disturbingly, it is preceded by LOL. (ie LOL epic FAIL)People need to stop saying that. We get it, you’re alternative.
You cannot believe the number of times (at least 3) I have wanted to describe something as epic, but been forced to restrain myself in order to avoid being placed into that strata of “human beings.” Should I describe the 1812 Overture as epic? No, probably not. Because the people around me might assume I’m the type of person who says things like, “Face palm. LOL. Epic fail.” The day someone confuses me with one of them would literally be the worst day of my life.
Everyone who describes a “fail” as epic should be sequestered in the desert or an island the way people in The Bible did to lepers. Also, they should take the people make those pictures with “fail” as a caption with them. They are all terrible people who do not deserve to, in the words of Chamillionaire, get on my level.
And, again, I would like to extend a warm welcome to any new visitors Pretzel Day might have.