Rod Blagojevich Goes Off the Deep End

We all remember the weird kid from our kindergarten class. For whatever reason, this student didn’t quite fit in. Think Minkus from “Boy Meets World.” Those of you Dane Cook fans (I’m looking at you, Jay and Peter) know this as the “Obby” phenomenon.  Cook identifies the outcast from our youth as one with an “Obby” name, like “Bobby.” If you were wondering, my name is spelled with an “ie” at the end, eliminating any possibility I was the weirdo in your class (rather, I was the jock).

Most of these kids grow up to become normal adults, with a scattered pedophilia here and a drug addiction there. But one outcast has soared above the rest. Rod Blagojevich, please rise.

We’ve already established that Blagojevich is crazy. Last month I found out just how deranged he really is. The former-Governor and soon-to-be convicted felon took his traveling circus to his alma mater, which I happen to attend. The event sold out in a week, with around 1,000 students and community members in attendance. And I have no doubt every single audience member got their money’s worth (the event was free).

Already 30 minutes late, Blagojevich kicked off the night with a 20-minute rampage in which he compared himself to Elvis and used phrases like “testicular virility.” Then came a panel discussion, where three professors had 15 minutes to take their best shots at the newest candidate on “The Apprentice.” The following is a list of arguments Blagojevich used in his defense:

  • Political deals are very common, even at the highest level. For example, before the Democratic Convention in 2008 Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton agreed that Clinton would become Obama’s Secretary of State in return for her bowing out of the race.
  • The FBI should release all of the conversations it recorded of Blagojevich,  like it did for Richard Nixon during Watergate. But according to Blagojevich, he’s “the anti-Nixon.”
  • Sometimes the Government lies. That’s why he voted for the Iraq War when he was a congressman. Yes, Blagojevich made an analogy between his predicament and the Iraq War.
  • Blagojevich appointed Roland Burris to the US Senate because he always felt he should choose an African-American. He called the Senate “the most elite club in the world,” and compared Harry Reid and Dick Durbin to former segregationist governors from Mississippi and Arkansas for not initially accepting Burris.

This man was elected governor of one of the biggest states in the country (twice).

Take a minute to gather your thoughts.

Welcome to Illinois.

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1 Response to “Rod Blagojevich Goes Off the Deep End”


  1. 1 kpax April 3, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    Not only is this amazing, but i love the picture you used… gorilla lips suit rod so well.


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