The Top 10 Funniest TV Show Characters of the Past Decade (2000’s)

It’s no secret that we here we love our TV shows here at Pretzel Day. More specifically, we love funny ones. And seeing how we are comedy connoisseurs, we’d like to impart some of our wealth of wisdom on to you. And with the 2000’s having come to an end a few months ago, we’d like to look back on a decade of funny by ranking the top 10 funniest TV show characters since Y2K.

The rules are simple. The show that the character belongs to must have enjoyed its beginning or the bulk of its success during the time period of 2000 to 2009 (disqualifying shows like The Simpsons). Additionally, sketch comedy and late-night talk shows weren’t considered. Additionally, the show would have had to have at least 2+ seasons in order to properly develop the characters (sorry Freaks and Geeks).

Of course, my opinion is my opinion, and my list will generate some discussion, as I’m sure that even my colleagues here at Pretzel Day are bound to disagree with something about my list. But discussion is healthy, and this is definitely one worth having.

So, without further to do, here they are:

The Ultimate (Backyard) Baseball Team

Greetings from Australia mates!

As some of our beloved readers know, I am currently in the middle of my semester studying abroad in Wollongong, Australia. The transition to Aussie life has been quite smooth – there aren’t too many big differences between our cultures. I have submerged myself into their beach lifestyle, have gotten into some Aussie music, and have even picked up on some of their lingo.

But one aspect of Australian life I have had trouble adjusting to goes against the very core of which I stand – sports.

Although I do enjoy me some footie (rugby), I must say that I have a major distaste for cricket. Cricket may be the national sport of Australia, but I just find it to be a more illogical, boring version of baseball.

And seeing how I used to be the manager of the greatest baseball team ever assembled, I think I know a thing or two about baseball.

Special Guest Contributor

Pretzel Day gets a TON of fan mail. Literally a ton. It’s difficult to sort through it all. However, sometimes we get outstanding sample pieces and are asked to put them up on Pretzel Day. The following is a guest submission from a mysterious, unnamed author. We’ll call him “Marcus Twain.” Marcus, apparently, still believes it to be the year 2001 as he chose to write on the 2000 Presidential Election. No word yet when he (or she) will write a follow up piece discussing Y2k or “the internet.” Anyway, the following is Pretzel Day’s very first guest submission. If you would like to guest write, conduct Jay, Peter, or Robbie.

The Secret to Hollywood

Not that I spend my free time following the stylings of Hollywood’s sexiest men (I don’t), but I can’t help but notice the growing trend that has taken Hollywood by storm – the return of the beard.

Returning to our primitive roots when shaving products were not as accessible, Hollywood’s erogenous men – including the likes of George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Jon Hamm (above) – are now seen sporting their suggestive, shaggy look.

And it is no secret that Robbie, Peter, and I are quite eager to realize our dream of making it big in Hollywood. So what do we have to do? You guessed it. We’re going to have to bust out our own Febru-Hairy here at Pretzel Day.

And as the only member of the Pretzel Day trio who can go unshaven for weeks at a time without people noticing, I’m afraid I may be the odd man out on this one. Sigh. I knew my inability to grow anything beyond chin stubble would finally catch up to me. But a boy can dream, can’t he?

Near-death experiences and Twitter

Sorry about the hiatus folks. I would make up some elaborate excuse for my absence, but the truth is, I have been preoccupied lately mulling over the fragility of life and my unexplainable obsession with social networking.

You see, it all began a week from today, when I decided to take a week-long trip down to Champaign to visit my friends before I jet off to Australia for the semester in February.

Taking the two hour trek down on I-57, my precious 2006 Honda Accord (lovingly named Taylor) hit a patch of black ice, causing it to spin off the highway at 80+ mph, narrowly missing an oncoming truck in the next lane before landing in a ditch some 50 feet off the highway.

So many people do bad things…

Apologies on the lack of posts this semester. Robbie has been preoccupied trying to convince his Northwestern peers that he has not indeed “lost his funny” as reports indicate, and Peter has been busy with his private new obsession. Myself, I have been busy dealing with the immense success of my school’s football team, all while trying to deal with my own emotional problems.

College can be tough, no? Being away from home, missing your family, dealing with classes, it goes on and on. I mean, sometimes the water works are inevitable. Am I overemotional? I don’t think so.

That’s why when I saw this video on YouTube, my heart ached – no, it broke – for this poor sorority girl, who was just concerned with the wellbeing of the sisters of the Alpha Chi sorority. Random girl from Oklahoma, I feel for you. Your reaction is in no way ridiculous and it is completely warranted.

Now I just wish I can have such helpful friends who are willing to document me during such desperate times.

Pretzel Day Midnight Links

I have been meaning to post for days, but I have struggled mightily trying to come up with some creative, original content. With creativity and originality never being my strong suits, I decided to borrow from the world wide web. And my disinterest in wizardry and midnight movie premieres is your gain tonight! In the spirit of Pretzel Day-favorite blogger Adam Rittenberg and his lunch-time links, here are your midnight links.

• Parents aren’t thrilled that the National Health Service of the UK is telling their kids this, but apparently “an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.” A brochure circulated by the NHS tells kids that “Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes’ physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?” In other news, Robbie Levin is expected to set a world record in longevity.
• A teen who was too preoccupied texting on her phone fell into a New York street sewer hole. omg lol.
• I may lack originality and creativity, but the people at Gatorade sure don’t. And definitely not the Asians at the Savannah College of Art and Design. The colors are so pretty.
• This is an insane goal from Brazil’s Falcao in an indoor soccer match from last week. I don’t know what is more noteworthy – the Michael Flatley-like feet of  Falcao or the fact that the goal was scored when Brazil was winning 12-0.
• President Obama recently nixed funding to build a billion dollar tank in the shape of a dragon. No word yet on how this will affect the wars in Iraq, against terrorism, or against global warming.

That’s it for tonight. I hope you do check out the links, they are definitely worth wasting your time on.

Maybe I should go to Iran this summer…

So I am approximately one month into my summer break – and to be frank, I have been up to abso-fricken-lutely nothing.

Summer so far has consisted of me sitting in some form of a basement all day and night long. Social networking has been at the top of the agenda. LinkedIn and Twitter have been added to the rotation, and there has been discussion of bringing MySpace and Xanga back. I am enrolled in a summer school class, but seeing how I don’t attend class during the academic year, I don’t see how I would possibly show up in the summer.

The constant berations of my mother and my chronic back problems from lying awkwardly on the couch all day has inspired me to do something with my life. A job search turned out to be unsuccessful (Bush’s failed economic policies hit home. How about a Restaurant bailout plan?), and I even considered posting more on Pretzel Day (we all know how that turned out).

But my channel-surfing has turned me on to some interesting events happening in Iran – and they have made me proud to be a human being.

This just in: Jay made correct college choice

Hello reader-dom! Apologies for our hiatus, we were off doing bigger and better things! (Just kidding, we’re just lazy).

But judging by our hit count, many of you haven’t been checking back to see if we’ve been posting (Ah you see, it was all just a test).

Excuses aside, I would like to take a break in my writing of my philosophy paper (everytime I post I seem to be writing a philosophy paper. I guess my contemplative moods make me eager to blog) and announce that Jay, out of all three Pretzel Day bloggers, made the best and wisest college choice!

For those that aren’t in the know, Robbie, Peter and myself all applied to and were accepted into the Journalism program here at the University of Illinois in Urbana-Champaign. Robbie, being the fan of mediocre athletics and Jewish girls, decided instead to attend Northwestern University, while Peter’s staunch conservative values led him to DePauw University.

Pretzel Day readers, beware!

Apparently, somebody amongst Pretzel Day’s trio spilled the beans on our attempt to take over the world on April Fool’s Day (I’m not pointing fingers, but Robbie is the only Jew in our midst). For the past few months, we have been secretly planting viruses in computers all around the world. But it is okay, because even though the secret has been leaked, there is nothing anyone can do about it. Now that it is April 1st, we will have control over everyone’s computers, allowing us all up in your personal space – even more than my three hour facebook stalking marathon yesterday.

Our attempts for Y2K may have been foiled, but you won’t be able to stop us now. World domination shall be ours!