Greg Oden Makes the Wrong Call

I don’t know about you, but I love to put myself in someone else’s shoes. What is Barack Obama really thinking as he delivers the State of the Union Address? What does Lil’ Wayne do on a day-to-day basis (and is his life actually as ridiculous as he makes it seem)? Some of these questions may be answered some day, others never will. For example, what was Kanye West thinking when he jumped onstage and stole the mic from Taylor Swift? Was he actually thinking, “What I’m about to do is in my best interest”? Also, things like this.

But the ultimate WTF moment may be encapsulated by Greg Oden, Taio Cruz and an episode of Smart Guy.

The Categorization of the Television

If I were to turn on my television, I would be able to choose from hundreds of different channels. Each channel airs hours and hours of original programming/reruns each and everyday. You might think it would be impossible to categorize every single television shows of the past five years. You would be wrong, so very wrong.

Near-death experiences and Twitter

Sorry about the hiatus folks. I would make up some elaborate excuse for my absence, but the truth is, I have been preoccupied lately mulling over the fragility of life and my unexplainable obsession with social networking.

You see, it all began a week from today, when I decided to take a week-long trip down to Champaign to visit my friends before I jet off to Australia for the semester in February.

Taking the two hour trek down on I-57, my precious 2006 Honda Accord (lovingly named Taylor) hit a patch of black ice, causing it to spin off the highway at 80+ mph, narrowly missing an oncoming truck in the next lane before landing in a ditch some 50 feet off the highway.

The Release Point: The Tim Tebow Story

Scene: The dimly lit office of an NFL executive

Actors: NFL Executive dressed in a neatly pressed navy blue suit, drinking a glass of scotch while smoking a cigar.

Scout holding a clipboard after returning from the Senior Bowl.

Action!

Love Song by 311

For whatever reason, I fall in love really easily. At least once a day I’ll see a woman and think to myself, “Whoa. I think I love her.”  Luckily for me, I only occasionally feel the need to state this aloud. I don’t know why this is, but that’s not important.

How I discovered I am walking proof of Newton’s First Law

We all fight different battles. Obesity. Long division. Cocaine. Personally, my list of enemies is short. But after a particularly embarrassing series of events this weekend, it has grown by one. To make it worse, it’s a nemesis that has me surrounded at all times. Wherever I go, whatever I do, it’s there. I’m waging a war against gravity, and I’m falling away.

Formative Years and Their Effect on Personality

Sometimes, I feel cursed. There are moments where I am absolutely convinced nothing good will ever happen to me. I am a pessimist prone to anxiety. I consistently expect the worst. I firmly believe that the things I want most are the things I will never have. That’s a pretty absurd conviction. I grew up in the suburbs. I went to a great high school. I was accepted to and received a scholarship for college. The list goes on. Despite these positives, I cannot shake this overwhelming belief that only bad awaits me.

Why?

The answer lies in my childhood sports teams.

Apparently I hate Idaho

During college, I became the kind of person I promised myself I would never be. I began to shop at Whole Foods.  I wish I could say that I went to pick up women, but I cannot say that in good conscience. In truth, most of the women I saw there were old. But, I digress. My time spent shopping at Whole Foods was not a total loss. It was in a Whole Foods parking lot where I realized I have a deep seeded hatred for Idaho.

Judging a Book by its Cover

I was always told not to do what I am about to do. And as an awkward, clumsy person, I have no business criticizing others. But now I’m going out on a limb. I have tried to hold this post in, but I just can’t. So it is with careful deliberation and a full heart that I make this declaration: Legion is going to be the worst movie ever.